“Most days my job is breathing” Gabrielle Bouliane

Talking about taking breaths as powerful steps forward.

Via Seth Godin

When everything goes wrong, you may be lucky

“It’s natural to seek reassurance. Most of us want to believe that the choices we make will work out, that everything will be okay. Artists and those that launch the untested, the new and the emotional (and I’d put marketers into all of these categories) wrestle with this need all the time. How can we proceed knowing that there’s a good chance that our actions will fail, that things might get worse, that everything won’t end up okay? In search of solace, we seek reassurance.” (Seth Godin, ‘No Everything Is Not Going To Be Okay’)

No Seth. Everything is already okay.

It always has been and it always will be. There’s nothing we can do about that.

Even if we didn’t do a thing, the world would still be okay.

Once you know that, there’s a lot more you can do with your life.

Paolo Terni – The Powerful Listening Journey #4

Listening means paying attention to what the other persons are saying -with their words, their bodies, their movements, their tone of voice. It means saying: “I am here” without saying a word. (Paolo Terni)

Meet Paolo Terni, my second guest on the Powerful Listening Journey. Terni is a Professionally Certified Coach, ICF member and author of the book “Coaching Leader: how to transform individual talent into business results”. Besides a degree in philosophy, a Masters in Work Psychology and extensive training and practice in NLP and solution-focused coaching, he’s currently pursuing a PhD in Neuroscience. His field of study is Positive Psychology. I know Paolo from his vivid and inspiring comments on twitter and his posts on his personal website Brief Coaching Solutions. Terni currently lives in Milano (Italy) and Walnut Creek (California, USA).

What means listening to you?

Listening to me means being open to the other person.
It means to stop talking. In the interaction, and in my head.
It means to focus on what the other is saying.
It means paying attention to what the other persons are saying -with their words, their bodies, their movements, their tone of voice.
It means accepting the other for who he or she is and in whatever state he or she is.
It means giving gratification; validating the other.
It means saying: “I am here” without saying a word.

Where/when did you learn to listen?

I am kind of a “natural listener” – in the sense that being too shy to speak up and too introverted to rock the boat, i was happy to just listen to what the others were saying! :)

I first came across the notion of listening as a skill during my college years – reading about it in books, and discovering that in real life being a good listener would get you lots of female friends, but no girlfriend!

My first course in listening skills was at Coach University, back in 1997 or 1998 – back then there were different courses you had to take to graduate, and they were all 4-weeks modules, except listening: that was an 8-week module. That spoke volume about the importance of listening.

What great listener inspires/inspired you?