Whatever it is you want to deal with, it takes time and effort. Yours, or somebody else’s.
When things aren’t that comfortable, it’s tempting to look for a quick win, isn’t it? I would be looking for a quick win. In fact I am, more often than I’d like to admit. Looking for that magic formula to overcome the obstacle. Hoping to skip a few steps and leap ahead. Leave all the trouble behind.
So far, I’ve never found the secret shortcut. And if things all of a sudden seem to take a leap forward, it’s bound to be the result of a sustained effort, either by me, or by somebody else.
Unlike us, life is never in a hurry.
Change takes time. Dealing with trouble takes time. And effort.
So it’s silly to sell our client the promise of making change happen in a blink. Solution Focused coaching and its mother Solution Focused Brief Therapy are no magical way to success. ‘Brief’ doesn’t stand for ‘shortcut’, and neither does the focus on ‘solutions’ mean all problems will all of a sudden go away once you pay attention to what works.
What we aim at keeping short is in fact the coaching and the therapy in itself. So you can get on with your life. Life, as in all-the-things-there-are-that-make-life-what-it-is. The ups. The downs. The people who support you. The things you’ve achieved so far. The things you are learning. The hopes. The dreams. The disappointments. The setbacks. The comebacks. They will all still be there. And they will continue to affect you.
Yet we hope that next time you’ll have the confidence again to accept these things as being part of (your) life. We hope you’ll have the confidence and awareness of the support from others to learn from what happened. We hope you’ll have the courage to move on.
Yes, it will take time. And yes it will always take effort.
But that’s what it takes to make a miracle happen. Time and effort. Not magic.
Suppose you’re at sea in a small boat. And all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge storm. Magic would be that you could make the storm go away. A miracle would be that although the going got tough, you managed to stay afloat. That even in such a huge calamity you found something to hold on to and that you kept holding on to it.
I’m pretty sure you know from your own experience what I’m talking about.
P.S.: Tim Harford on the miracle of an ordinary toaster