Here’s a thought on resolving conflicts.
Ask your partner if he or she will help you create an environment where the seeds of your compassion can flourish. Ask your partner to help you transform that environment where now only seeds of anger and hate flourish.
“I am trying to be compassionate here because I really want to listen to what you have to say. Yet it is hard for me. You could make it easier for me when you would …. Do you think you can do that?”
If you would ask this, what would that mean? How would that change the nature of the conversation? How would that change your feelings? How would that change your energy?
In resonance of Ghandi’s ‘be the change you want to see in the world’, the key to me seems: show compassion towards yourself in order to show compassion to others. Pay respect to your needs and intentions in such a way that you give others the possibility to play a meaningful role in your life.
While seeking assistance for transforming the context of your conversation, you express the intention to respect the meaning of your partner’s existence. You say: hey, your needs matter to me and I want to be able to listen to them properly.
If your partner decides to help you, than that’s already the first proof that you can both reach a solution. Small step. Big success. You’ll see.