“Don’t use bite-words”

Fran is a great and talented friend.

She and her wife have a peculiar view on life which I admire very much.

Just to give you an example:

Yesterday she told me she and her wife raised their kids with only four rules:

  • don’t hurt yourself
  • don’t hurt others
  • don’t break things
  • and don’t use ‘bite-words’.

“What are bite-words?”, I wondered.

Fran giggled (she always does) and explained that “Bite-words are words like always, never, everyone, nobody, everything, nothing, and so on.”

Why would you want to avoid bite-words?

Just imagine you do,

then “My boss always hates me!” could be changed into “My boss hates me especially on Mondays because he doesn’t like the way I smile.”

or “It’s a complete disaster. Everything went wrong” eventually sounds like “Our client didn’t like the presentation because he thought we misunderstood his question. And later on my laptop crashed for no obvious reason.”

and “All politicians are liars” could be translated into “Mr. A promised he would help out the industry and now he doesn’t and the same goes for Mr. B and C. Why are they doing that?”

When we use bite-words, it’s usually to victimize ourself, to make situations appear bigger then life.

Avoiding bite-words forces you to get back to reality, to question the situation. It also makes it far more easy to deal with whatever you are facing.

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One thought on ““Don’t use bite-words”

  1. ntone says:

    Tgho, ik ga dit in het groot op de muur van mijn living hangen… Zo word ik er aan herinnerd te relativeren, te overdenken en zeker niet te veralgemenen….

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