Rrradiogirrrl / Sigrid Dufraimont wrote an intriguing post on fear. This is just one of the many brilliant thoughts in it (warning: plot spoiler)
“A way of looking through your fears is questioning them. I usually try to question my fears by asking myself this:
- is it true what I’m thinking?
- Can I absolutely know that it is true?
- How do I react, what happens when I think this?
- Who would I be without this thought?”
“I didn’t come up with these questions myself but they have been a great help for me. Of course, I’m still afraid of things every single day but I try to question my fears which gives me just about enough space to believe that in the end everything changes for the best. It’s absolutely thrillingly liberating!”
How cool is that?
You only fear what you can’t control if you think you should be in control to overcome it.
People who live in fear are people who don’t accept that during life, everything is probable.
Control, certainty these are things which are relative. Which means something which is true for one person at one place in one time is totally obsolete in a different time, in a different place, for a different person.
Does that mean we can’t share truths or have faith in the same things? Does that mean we cannot create a reality in which things hold true for several different people at once?
No it doesn’t. We can create such a reality. In fact we are creating these realities all the time.
Then why do we fear then?
Our shared truths usually give us comfort. Life as we know it tends to be reassuring, even if it’s horrible since we know what to expect from it, don’t we.
If someone else comes along and challenges your reality you can suddenly find yourself out of control. You realize that your presumptions and predictions don’t work anymore.
That they don’t hold true everywhere, anytime, for everyone.
That sucks. Again, only if all you want is to be totally in control.
Now here’s the catch. There’s really nothing you can do but admire these other views. Be curious about them. Explore them. Appreciate them (there’s an opportunity there).
Before you know it, you’ll find yourself discovering things you could never have dreamed about.
There’s an extra bonus. Because you’ve left your safe and familiar road, because you’ve allowed someone else to take you to another road, to other places, you’ll have a better idea of the world your living in.
And as a result of that, your ability to deal with life as you know it (which we hardly do) will be bigger.