an invitation to get in touch

Last rays of sun before the storm (Photo by Hans Kylberg)

We are all connected in one way or another. It’s what we are destined to. Life without connection does not exist. We live because we are connected, connected to nature, connected to ideas, connected to each other. We live because our organs and cells are connected.

We are because we are in touch with the world we live in.

We are destined to be com-passioned.

And yet at times I find myself longing to escape that world. I want to be out of reach, out of touch. And when I have to be in touch, then I desperately want to be in control. I want to speak to people instead of with people. I want to guide the conversation instead of nourishing it and allowing it to happen. I want to have things my way. This desire, this urge is sometimes so strong that it makes me want to run away badly. But since that’s something which is not likely to happen, I often get angry.

And so I get angry at everything that touches me: smells, people, sounds, tastes, ideas… . It all reminds me of how much I’m not in control. When I’m in such a state it’s like my beloved biosphere has turned into an obnoxious torchuring machine trying to make me into something I’m not. There’s no point in fighting it. Fighting it only makes it worse. It only proves that I can’t overpower it, that it’s beyond my control.

Bill Isaacs on Powerful Listening

Listen to the course of the world and to your own nature; and you’ll know what to do. Most people think that dialogue is a form of talking. It’s more about articulating what’s been heard and at what level. What are you actually listening to? (Bill Isaacs)

Read more here @Fastcompany

Via @Dailygood

Don’t underestimate the power of listening

As listeners we have a huge power over words.

I often find this underestimated and undervalued.

Usually people tend to think that meaning is simply added to words by the person who utters them.

But is that really true?

I believe people do add meaning to the words we utter, but that that meaning isn’t true until it is properly received.

A word spoken is only a word half meant. Every word we receive is an invitation and a chance to complete its meaning.

Also, it’s not the words that have the power to produce an outcome, it’s always the people who receive them and who deceide to act upon what they perceive who have the power to define the outcome of every conversation.

What would happen to the world if we’d approach language like that?

• Listening would be regarded as an active act, not as something passive
• Listening empowers you, you’re not just a sitting duck wainting to get shot
• Listening is something you are responsible for when engaging in a conversation, since half of the meaning of the words uttered by other people comes from you
• Truths would be something which only exist in agreement, between two people.
• Convincing and persuading people would be regarded as absurd since it would only mean that we would try to convey something which cannot be conveyed. You cannot completely transfer yourself to another person through words, let alone that this other person can completely receive you through those same words.
• People would be respected as authorities of their own self. Nobody knows you better than you do. Period.
• Statements would be questions.
• Demands would turn into invitations.
• …

Thank you Sharon Sayler from Triiibes.com to inspire me to write this post.