When magic happens – how to turn something bad into something great

This is a story about change and how changing things is as much as about making changes as it is about allowing change to happen. This is a story about how something really frustrating and annoying turned into a great gift. This is a story about the power of being superbly human. Enjoy.

The last couple of months I wake up at night. Why, I don’t know. But when I’m awake I lay there listening and I hear a buzz coming out of the hallway. I was convinced that the noise was caused by my neighbour’s fridges. He’s running a bakery and his fridges are next to our hallway.

So I decided that I had to talk to him. But I kept delaying our meeting. And at the same time I started making up conversations in my head. I started to make scenario’s, started to design strategies about how to obtain my goal, how to anticipate a possible ‘no, I don’t believe you’ and so on. The more I waited, the more tensed I became and the harder it seemed to get in touch and talk about what I thought was happening.

I even got to a point where I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep calm enough to have a proper conversation. And so I talked about it with my coach. He wrote a wonderful letter, showing understanding and compassion. He was familiar with this experience and urged me to be compassionate towards myself and my neighbour. Bottom line was: give each other the chance to have a fruitful experience in trying to find a solution together.

an invitation to get in touch

Last rays of sun before the storm (Photo by Hans Kylberg)

We are all connected in one way or another. It’s what we are destined to. Life without connection does not exist. We live because we are connected, connected to nature, connected to ideas, connected to each other. We live because our organs and cells are connected.

We are because we are in touch with the world we live in.

We are destined to be com-passioned.

And yet at times I find myself longing to escape that world. I want to be out of reach, out of touch. And when I have to be in touch, then I desperately want to be in control. I want to speak to people instead of with people. I want to guide the conversation instead of nourishing it and allowing it to happen. I want to have things my way. This desire, this urge is sometimes so strong that it makes me want to run away badly. But since that’s something which is not likely to happen, I often get angry.

And so I get angry at everything that touches me: smells, people, sounds, tastes, ideas… . It all reminds me of how much I’m not in control. When I’m in such a state it’s like my beloved biosphere has turned into an obnoxious torchuring machine trying to make me into something I’m not. There’s no point in fighting it. Fighting it only makes it worse. It only proves that I can’t overpower it, that it’s beyond my control.

Bill Isaacs on Powerful Listening

Listen to the course of the world and to your own nature; and you’ll know what to do. Most people think that dialogue is a form of talking. It’s more about articulating what’s been heard and at what level. What are you actually listening to? (Bill Isaacs)

Read more here @Fastcompany

Via @Dailygood