Change begins with respect. Respect for your own boundaries. Respect for other people’s boundaries.
I find it hard to keep that in mind. Sometimes I’m so eager to tell my story, fill reality with my point-of-viewishness, that I forget to respect people’s space.
I used to mistake a question for an invitation to fill the gap, to start ‘flowing’.The result was always the same. I felt exhausted and unsatisfied. It always seemed like ‘people didn’t get it’. On top of that I was tired. I ‘pushed’ the whole time and didn’t give people the chance to give something back.
Over the last few years I came to realize what went wrong. Questions were often invitations from people who wanted your attention while they explored a thought, a feeling, an experience. Sometimes they just asked for a hint to get them going. Sometimes they asked nothing at all. They just connected, invited me to pay attention.
Again, easier said than done. Read More »
